"Joy is. Sadness is. You try to lasso one and chase away the other. Yet in finally meeting what you've been craving you're not sure whether to capture it or flee from it, because even great beauty is too wild for you"
Is a quote from the book I am currently reading "Riding between the worlds" Its a beautiful book about the lessons horses can teach us. At the moment I am down in Devon looking after my mum after her operation and so I am getting to enjoy the incredible countryside here with a great deal of freedom. This quote inspired this blog post about freedom and just being.
I feel as though I am on the edge of something, a huge breakthrough. This morning as I walked alone through the woods occasionally dwindling from the path to explore the stream or something that caught my eye. I was feeling the magnitude of nature with only the sound of birds, I was starting to allow myself that freedom to just be present in the moment, just still in my mind.
Yet it was tinged with guilt, all my thoughts banging on the walls of my fragile peace and acceptance of who I am and what is happening right now. Not in an hour or tomorrow or even yesterday but embracing the freedom to be present and to be grateful for that. To be grateful to be able to just enjoy mother natures creations, to enjoy the bird song, to enjoy Esther's energy and ability to be excited and happy with what exactly is happening in that moment.
I feel so close to that freedom but I am not quite there. I will continue to take lessons from Esther and Pearl, the dog and the horse who are truly masters of the now and who have the skill to accept and embrace their present situation with all of their being. They have so much forgiveness, so much gratitude they don't waste their emotions on what has already been or what may or may not come to pass. They are authentic in every sense of the word and have no desires to justify that to anyone. They only desire to just be.